wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
