there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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