what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
