I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
