youre lurking in front of me
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm like, not good at living.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
