Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
