Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
