Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
