Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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