after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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