so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
