he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
