Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
