Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
