The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
