I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
