He disabled his match.com account in front of me
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize