i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
