I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
