So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
