If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I need a beard to bite.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
