Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
