Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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