I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Ladies don't puke and tell
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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