Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
