i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
