Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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