I'm eating all of the evidence.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The air was thick with penises
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
