Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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