Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
