How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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