Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize