My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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