Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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