you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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