I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
