Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
