what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
