I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize