I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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