so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
