I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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