I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
