what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
