Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
