I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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