smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize