Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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