i just wanna soil my oats bro
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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