Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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