I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
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