At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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