Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
