His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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