jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize