My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
