In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize