he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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