She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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