Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
