I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
