She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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