He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
