ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
